Dash Your Cares Away!

Since I feel like I need to share something more positive after finding out that Sarah Palin is not willing to call abortion clinic bombers terrorists, I figure this is a good to time to share the excellent news that you can MAKE YOURSELF A MUPPET! Yeah, that’s right.  You could be a Muppet.  I know, you’re dying of excitement!  I spent way too much time today figuring out how to Muppet-myself (if anyone wants directions on this, for future gift giving ideas, etc, just let me know…) and many of those I know.  Muppet Bernie English (my dad) is particularly hilarious.

FAO Schwartz is selling personalized Muppets for $90 (just in time for Christmas!).  It’s all part of the Disney Company’s push to get people back on the Muppets train.  Though, Disney makes me nuts, I’m willing to over look it because the Muppets are freaking sweet!  Jason Segal (of Freaks and Geeks and Forgetting Sarah Marshall fame) is working on a new Muppet movie and I have loved all things Muppet since I was a little kid, so I am on board.

Here’s what I love about Muppets:

  1. When a Muppet gets really excited and flails around wildly, it is impossible not to be ridiculously happy.  Kermit really rocks at this.
  2. Jim Henson’s Muppets did not just fall into predictable gender stereotypes.  Many Muppets were gender neutral, especially on Sesame Street, which is important since that’s when kids are learning these things.  Even Miss Piggy, probably the most feminine Muppet is not your typical woman.  I’m sure in the 1970s and early 1980s, the way that Miss Piggy pursued Kermit and karate chopped those who disagreed was quite subversive!  Some of the newer Sesame Street characters have sadly broken with this trend.
  3. Muppet humor is absurd.
  4. The Muppets share my love of the occassional bad joke.  Especially Fozzie Bear!
  5. Many of the original Muppets were conceived of as characters in commercials.  Henson went onto make Sesame Street because kids liked his commericals and he realized commericals could be about learning.  How cool is that?
  6. The muppets on The Muppet Show and on Fraggle Rock were all about community.  They hung together, laughed together, took care of each other.  That’s just nice.
  7. When the muppet creators couldn’t think of an ending, they had one muppet either eat the other one or blow up.  I don’t know why, but I find that hilarious.
  8. Whatnot Muppets were literally Muppets who could be changed around at will.  I think that was a creative idea.
  9. Doot doot doot doot Manamana. Doot doot doo.
  10. The Muppets caused trouble, but in a good way.  Like me.
  11. Muppets were always doing the happiest things.  Making jokes, putting on crazy shows, eating cookies!
  12. The Muppet Show was written for adults and kids.  I love when this happens.  I like adults who don’t take themselves too seriously and who can enjoy things in that stupid, loving way that kids do.  So, this is right up my alley.  Also, the adult Muppet humor is HILARIOUS.
  13. Muppet Nostalgia.
  14. Googly Muppet eyes.
  15. The Tickle Me Elmos and Cookie Monsters that, for sure, came way after the original Jim Henson stuff, but that are like a little squeeze of instant happiness.  Seriously, I have Tickle Me Cookie Monster because it makes me smile and laugh when life otherwise gets crazy.
  16. The idea that people of all generations love the Muppets.  My mom loves them, I love them, someday a million years from now when I have kids, I bet they will love them too.
  17. There’s a Muppet show sketch of Kermit reporting on the the mating habits of ailen Muppets that is so hilarious I can’t even stand it.
  18. The way that the celebrities who were on The Muppet Show seemed really happy about being around Muppets.
  19. The Muppets were so damn colorful.  Both in their well-developed, eccentric personalities and in the literal rainbow of colors that the puppets were made from.
  20. Last but certainly not least, on my good days, I like to think of myself as relatively Muppet like.  I think I can pull off the look.
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