Question to Ponder: Will a Woman Ever Have Her Own Late Night Show?

So, I was up way too late the other night and watching Conan O’Brian and I got excited that he will be taking over for Leno soon, and then I thought about the whole who will be the next Leno controversy and I realized these shows really are all about old white dudes and Jimmy Kimmel and Carson Daly.   Not once have I heard someone say, you know what would be a sweet idea, let’s replace Leno with a really hilarious woman!  How is it that we think that that only these dudes can make people laugh during the 11-1:30 slot?  I feel like people like to get worked up about how Americans don’t want to get their news from women, but I’ve decided I’m more worked up over the fact that I can’t get my parodied news from women.  It’s not like there aren’t funny women out there.  Here’s some women that I think would be awesome to host Late Night TV talk shows.  I guarantee all of these people are more interesting than Leno and Carson Daly.
Tina Fey

Obviously, on the list because she is my heroine, but I also because I   think she’s the leading contender.  Here’s what she has going for her:

• Has late night chops from her years on Saturday Night Live.
• Her work on Weekend Update and 30 Rock proves she rocks when it comes to topical humor.
• Improv background at Second City could make her good at ab libbing funny conversations with whoever is promoting their last movie.
• She’s so hot right now thanks to Sarah Palin (probably the only positive contribution Sarah Palin made to the country if you think about it).
• Sure, we’d have to wait till 30 Rock is done with it’s run, but I think Tina’s worth the wait.
• 30 Rock and Saturday Night Live proved that Fey knows how to run her own show.
• One of the most obviously feminist candidates for the position.

Amy Poehler

Amy Poehler is also hilarious and a little deranged and I like that.  Here’s what’s in her favor:

• Also has Saturday Night Live experience and Weekend Update experience.
• She’s well-known.
• She’s pretty goofy, so she might be good at coming up with absurd segments in the same vein as Conan’s “In the Year 2000.”
• She has an improv background too.

Samantha Bee

Samantha Bee is one of my favorite Daily Show correspondents because she always knows how to use being a woman to her advantage to make things especially outrageous or hilarious.

• Her Daily Show experience means she knows how to take what’s going on in politics and the world and make it hilarious.
• She could use her Daily Show experience to do a more hilarious man on the street feature than Jay Leno’s Jaywalking.
• Bee’s background is in sketch comedy, which I also feel could be good for those little funny segments that always happen before the guests come out.  Those are usually the funniest part of these shows, might as well make them good!

Sarah Silverman

Definitely my most controversial selection.  I feel like the thing that Sarah has going for her is she knows how to use humor to make shocking statements that can get people to think.  On the downside, not everyone sees her that way.  Here’s why I think she’d be good:

• She certainly has a watchable quality in that you’re always wondering what crazy thing she is going to do next.
• Controversy will get viewers and could open up some taboo conversations in a non-threatening, funny way.
• She’s been doing her own show on Comedy Central for awhile, so she knows how to do it.
• “I’m Fucking Matt Damon” is one of the most hilarious sketches to happen on a late show (The Jimmy Kimmel Show) in recent memory.

Sarah Haskins

Sarah Haskins is my dark horse suggestion.  I know many of you out there are asking who the hell Sarah Haskins is, so I’ll tell you.  She does these hilarious Target Women sketches on Current TV (some kind of internet TV website) that mock the way things are marketed to women.  I’m in love with all of them, but especially the ones for birth control, yogurt, and cleaning products.  Here’s what works for her:

• The Target Women spots are short funny bits and they rock.  Late night shows need them.
• She’s really smart (Harvard grad!) and you like to see that in someone who is mocking topical news.
• Along with Tina Fey, she is probably the one of the most obvious feminists.
• Also has improv background.  I really do love those improv-ers.

YES WE DID!

an

Ah, the scene from the bar as we learned about PRESIDENT OBAMA!  WOOO!

Here are some thoughts that have gone through my head about this in the last 40 minutes.

• So, this is what it feels like to be really proud of being an American.  Cool.
• DC right now is like Boston was when the Red Sox won the World Series in 2004.  ALL of the cars are honking as they drive down the street, everyone was cheering and dancing and high fiving strangers.  Some fireworks just went off.  It was crazy.  SO fun.  And last I saw 92% of us DC-ers voted for Obama, so we’re pumped.
• If the Democrats get a super majority, I can die and go to heaven.
• You betcha Tina Fey is psyched that her Sarah Palin days are over.
• I hope some of my town of town friends want to come visit for the inauguration.  WOOO PARTY!
• DC with the Obama people will definitely be cooler than DC with the Bush people.
• I feel like my feminist office should shut down and just party tomorrow.
• People at the bar and in the streets were crying they were so happy.  I love to see things like that.
• I saw Obama’s Hope speech at the 2004 Democratic Convention in Boston.  I was up in the rafters of the then Fleet Center (now TD Bank North Garden, or something like that).  I was blown away then.  Now I feel like I was at something that was a huge part of history.
• Did I mention I am excited for the inauguration?  Because I am really excited for it!
• OOO, just thought of taking the White House tour now that Obama will be President.  Let’s put that on the January agenda!
• The first puppy has come up a number of times now.  Obviously it should be a goldendoodle like this:

(On an unrelated note, CNN has lost it.  People connecting via hologram?!?!?!?!  I can’t wait to see what Jon Stewart does with that one.)

Ok, I thought about live blogging Obama’s speech, but instead I think I will kick back with my Sam Adams and enjoy it!
WOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A little Wednesday morning update, we get to work on a transition memo at work!  YAY!

Highly Highly Skeptical that Sexy TV is Responsible for Knocking Up Teens

Today, Pediatrics (the Journal of the American Academy of Pediatrics) published a study by Anita Chandra that links teen pregnancy to sex on TV shows such as Sex and the City, Friends, and That 70s Show.   Chandra tracked 2,000 12-17 year olds over the course of three years and found that those who watched sex on TV shows were twice as likely to be pregnant.  Now, I must admit, that I really want to read the actual study before making conclusions, but it looks like I can’t get it through the GW online library, so this is based on my newspaper findings.  I’m going to try to actually find this thing though, so I can look at the actual findings (if anyone out there can get it, please send it!).  Here are all the reasons I am skeptical.

I take issue with the shows that were selected.  First of all, Sex and the City is clearly not a television show that was meant for children to view.  It has always been rated TV-MA.  So, I think we can assume there are other problems if kids are watching SATC.  Second, all of the shows selected might show that sex is fun and they mostly focus on sex between adults (That 70s Show being the exception).  There have been plenty of TV shows out there that show the consequences of teen sex (I’ll cite Gilmore Girls, where Rory’s loss of virginity with her married ex-boyfriend was a mess and poor Lane got pregnant on her first time having sex, which, incidentally, was with her husband!).  How would the results have changed if shows like those were included?  What about the fact that teen shows tend to favor sex in loving relationships?  The tried and true formula for teenage couples is that they only have good sex when they are in love.  Otherwise, disaster ensues.  For your consideration:

Dan Humphrey and Serena van der Woodsen (Gossip Girl).  Dan and Serena have sex for the first time after they have fallen in love and Serena makes a special Christmas present for Dan.  Dan, our sweet, sensitive guy is losing his virginity and it is strong implied that this is the first time that Serena has ever had sex that mattered.

Blair Waldorf and Nate Archibald (Gossip Girl).  Blair saved herself for her first love for years before they had sex.  Though Blair lost her virginity to Chuck, her tryst with Nate is depicted as the first special sex she has.  Chuck was a mistake until….

Blair Waldorf and Chuck Bass (Gossip Girl).  Blair and Chuck fall in love.  They no longer sleep with each other, but instead are holding off until they can feel comfortable exchanging “I Love You’s.”

Chuck Bass and Poor Victim Girls (Gossip Girl).  At the beginning of Gossip Girl, Chuck Bass tries to force himself on Serena and on Little J.  Serena kicks his ass.  Dan punches him for trying to force himself on his sister, and Little J gets revenge by locking Chuck naked on a roof.  It is clear, sex should be consentual and in a loving relationship.

Seth Cohen and Summer Roberts (The OC). When Seth Cohen and Summer lost their virginity to each other, they agreed to slow down and save sex until it meant something.  In the end, I don’t think Seth and Summer ever even slept with someone else since they got married!

Ryan Atwood and Marissa Cooper (The OC)  Even the “bad boy” outsider Ryan and the “bad” overprivileged girl Marissa waited until they were in love and waited many YEARS (like season 3!) to sleep together.  When Marissa lost her virginity to someone she didn’t love (Luke, oh silly, Luke), it went badly.

Angela Chase and Jordan Catalano (My So-Called Life). Angela decided she could not have sex with Jordan despite the fact that he looked really hot playing guitar and leaning on things, because she was not ready. She was celebrated for this choice. 

Joey Potter and Pacey Witter (Dawson’s Creek). Joey and Pacey slept together once they were in love and on a ski trip.  After declaring they were in love, Joey took the condom from Pacey and told him “I want to throw the wrapper away).

Joey Potter and Dawson Leery (Dawson’s Creek).  Joey and Dawson waited almost 20 years to sleep together!  They were well into college before it happened and then it was a VERY big deal because of all the emotions involved!

Felicity and Noel (Felicity).  Felicity and Noel never actually sleep together, but only because their attempt to have sex during season 1 was such a disaster because they tried to force it instead of waiting until sex would have been a natural part of their relationship.

Felicity and Ben (Felicity).  Felicity and Ben (oh Ben…) don’t sleep together until they have gotten together, broken up, gotten back together, and fallen in love.  It is, of course, perfect when it happens!

Buffy and Angel (Buffy the Vampire Slayer).  When Buffy sleeps with her vampire boyfriend for the first time, Angel literally turns back into his evil self.

Buffy and Spike (Buffy the Vampire Slayer).  After being mortal enemies, Buffy and Spike start sleeping together and it is literally depicted as an S&M relationship.  They tear down and house and bruise each other.  Buffy beats herself up for it.  This relationship is a total disaster until Spike gets a soul so he and Buffy can finally fall in love.  Of course, then he has to go sacrifice himself to save the world, killing that shot at happiness.

Willow and Tara (Buffy the Vampire Slayer).  Ah, the only gay couple to make the list.  It is always implied that Willow and Tara have a deep emotional connection and therefore, they have literally magical sex.

Willow and Oz (Buffy the Vampire Slayer). These two fall deeply in love and have very sweet, very safe sex.

Lindsay Weir and Nick Andopolis (Freaks and Geeks).  Despite the fact that Nick spoke-sang Lindsay a bitchin’ version of “Lady” and then just wanted to cuddle, these two never got it on.  Why?  Lindsay was weirded out by the idea of sex and the fact that she didn’t love Nick the way he loved her.

Daniel Desario and Kim Kelly (Freaks and Geeks).  So these two are freaks, which naturally means they get it on a lot,  but they also have a very strong, if not very troubled love.  Daniel and Kim help each other deal with their dysfunctional families and for them, it always seems like that love helps them conquer many things (though not all, because no one can ever be perfectly happy on Freaks and Geeks!)

Veronica Mars (Veronica Mars).  Poor, poor Veronica Mars loses her virginity when she is rufied and raped.  Again, it is clear sexual assault is bad.  Veronica does manage to have good sex when she falls in love with Duncan in season two though.

Rory and Jess (Gilmore Girls).  Rory and Jess never have sex, despite the fact that Rory expresses an interest in losing her virginity to Jess.  Rory and Jess also have all kinds of issues emotionally opening up to each other and saying things like “I love you.”  Concidence?  I think not.

And one more, bonus blast from the past, Bailey and Sarah (Party of Five).  Those two waited forever! I don’t remember a ton about this show, but I remember that.  Also, I remember that Julia had a pregnancy scare (see, sex, never a good idea for teens), but thankfully, miscarried it.  And then everyone got cancer and alcoholism, and really, that’s a whole other blog post.

Nuts right?  Look at all that loving, committed teen sex.  And those consequences of deviating from that (and I didn’t even get into The Secret Life of the American Teenager, which I haven’t watched, but is all about a girl getting knocked up her first time). Ok, now that my love for teen TV is painfully obvious, and it’s clear sex on teen TV is all about love, here are some other issues I have with this study.  It seems like there is not any information about the association between TV and teen pregnancy.  From what I can tell, there is no evidence that TV leads to teen pregnancy and not the other way around.  What about other factors?  This study was conducted between 2002-2004.  Sure sexy TV has been popular in that time, but you know what else has been super popular, ABSTINENCE ONLY sex education?  How is it that NO article managed to mention this fact?!?!?! Might the fact that teens haven’t learned as much about contraception actually be responsible for this increase in teen pregnancy?  Call me crazy, but I think that’s pretty likely! What about the role of parents?  What kinds of houses do these kids live in?  Is it possible that they see more TV because they do not have the resources to access more productive/positive activities?  In all of the articles I have read, I also have not read that the difference Chandra found is statistically significant.  Perhaps that’s in the Pediatrics article, but I need to see some of that information.   Ultimately, I feel that there a number of complicated reasons that teen pregnancy has increased and blaming adult sex on TV is a poor scapegoat.  In reality, many factors contribute to teen pregnancy and teen TV, even the most irresponsible teen TV (ahem, Gossip Girl), tends to show that sex is best when it takes place in loving, committed relationships.  Let’s just look at the full picture before we all freak out.  Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go watch tonight’s Gossip Girl!

Dash Your Cares Away!

Since I feel like I need to share something more positive after finding out that Sarah Palin is not willing to call abortion clinic bombers terrorists, I figure this is a good to time to share the excellent news that you can MAKE YOURSELF A MUPPET! Yeah, that’s right.  You could be a Muppet.  I know, you’re dying of excitement!  I spent way too much time today figuring out how to Muppet-myself (if anyone wants directions on this, for future gift giving ideas, etc, just let me know…) and many of those I know.  Muppet Bernie English (my dad) is particularly hilarious.

FAO Schwartz is selling personalized Muppets for $90 (just in time for Christmas!).  It’s all part of the Disney Company’s push to get people back on the Muppets train.  Though, Disney makes me nuts, I’m willing to over look it because the Muppets are freaking sweet!  Jason Segal (of Freaks and Geeks and Forgetting Sarah Marshall fame) is working on a new Muppet movie and I have loved all things Muppet since I was a little kid, so I am on board.

Here’s what I love about Muppets:

1. When a Muppet gets really excited and flails around wildly, it is impossible not to be ridiculously happy.  Kermit really rocks at this.
2. Jim Henson’s Muppets did not just fall into predictable gender stereotypes.  Many Muppets were gender neutral, especially on Sesame Street, which is important since that’s when kids are learning these things.  Even Miss Piggy, probably the most feminine Muppet is not your typical woman.  I’m sure in the 1970s and early 1980s, the way that Miss Piggy pursued Kermit and karate chopped those who disagreed was quite subversive!  Some of the newer Sesame Street characters have sadly broken with this trend.
3. Muppet humor is absurd.
4. The Muppets share my love of the occassional bad joke.  Especially Fozzie Bear!
5. Many of the original Muppets were conceived of as characters in commercials.  Henson went onto make Sesame Street because kids liked his commericals and he realized commericals could be about learning.  How cool is that?
6. The muppets on The Muppet Show and on Fraggle Rock were all about community.  They hung together, laughed together, took care of each other.  That’s just nice.
7. When the muppet creators couldn’t think of an ending, they had one muppet either eat the other one or blow up.  I don’t know why, but I find that hilarious.
8. Whatnot Muppets were literally Muppets who could be changed around at will.  I think that was a creative idea.
9. Doot doot doot doot Manamana. Doot doot doo.
10. The Muppets caused trouble, but in a good way.  Like me.
11. Muppets were always doing the happiest things.  Making jokes, putting on crazy shows, eating cookies!
12. The Muppet Show was written for adults and kids.  I love when this happens.  I like adults who don’t take themselves too seriously and who can enjoy things in that stupid, loving way that kids do.  So, this is right up my alley.  Also, the adult Muppet humor is HILARIOUS.
13. Muppet Nostalgia.
14. Googly Muppet eyes.
15. The Tickle Me Elmos and Cookie Monsters that, for sure, came way after the original Jim Henson stuff, but that are like a little squeeze of instant happiness.  Seriously, I have Tickle Me Cookie Monster because it makes me smile and laugh when life otherwise gets crazy.
16. The idea that people of all generations love the Muppets.  My mom loves them, I love them, someday a million years from now when I have kids, I bet they will love them too.
17. There’s a Muppet show sketch of Kermit reporting on the the mating habits of ailen Muppets that is so hilarious I can’t even stand it.
18. The way that the celebrities who were on The Muppet Show seemed really happy about being around Muppets.
19. The Muppets were so damn colorful.  Both in their well-developed, eccentric personalities and in the literal rainbow of colors that the puppets were made from.
20. Last but certainly not least, on my good days, I like to think of myself as relatively Muppet like.  I think I can pull off the look.

Pro-Life Unless the Life Belongs to a Woman Going for An Abortion

This is easily the most fucked up thing I have seen from Sarah Palin, which is saying a lot considering there’s tons of footage of her hate fest rallies.  I think Palin’s hypocrisy speaks for itself, so I’ll leave it at that.  Plus, I need to get out shopping.  I have $150,000 for clothes burning a hole in my pocket.  I plan on buying approximately 3,000 hooded sweatshirts.

I can see Russia from my yard!

In honor of Tina Fey winning a crap ton of Emmy’s (Best Writing in a Comedy Series, Best Actress in a Comedy Series, and Best Comedy Series) for 30 Rock, I figured it was a good time to put up her killer Palin impression.  Tina Fey, you are still my heroine!

more about “Saturday Night Live – Palin / Hillary…“, posted with vodpod

Brilliant!

Save Bitch!

Bitch magazine is one of my absolute favorite publications and like all feminist non-profits, they are struggling and they need to raise money to keep things going, so check out this video and show them some love!

Naturally a Woman Candidate Means More Barbies!

I’ve been away for about a week, but I am back and it seems like the Sarah Palin madness continues.  While I have seen a lot of Palin stuff that makes me cringe (like the RNC claiming Democrats are acting like a old boys network for saying Palin is bad for women and today’s totally biased article on her in the Washington Post), these new Palin action figures take the cake for the most disgusting thing I have seen yet.  Obviously, some genius decided that the best way to capitalize on a woman candidate for vice president was not to talk about issues or celebrate an accomplishment, but to create a doll and incredibly offensive, sex stereotyped outfits for her that reduce her to nothing more than a sexual fantasy.  This is even worse than the Barbie that said she was bad at math.  As you can see in the pictures below, you can get “superhero” Palin, “school girl” Palin, and, if you are boring, normal executive Palin.

Do you like the way that “superhero” and “school girl” Palin can barely keep their vaginas or their midriffs covered?  I think that’s special!

Of course, male political action figures (the same company that made Palin figures made a bunch of awful stuff) turned into offensive characterictures or sex objects are barely even discussed, while these Palin action figures seem to be getting major media coverage.  I have to say, that offends me.  Why is it that people might think women action figures, no matter how demeaning are funny or cool?  I think a big part of this is that the people who make these dolls and the media who hypes them seem to think that women are stupid enough to buy any kind of doll and put it in any kind of skanky outfit.  I imagine these dolls are made for adults, but I can only imagine little girls playing with these dolls and thinking that they can run for vice president AND dress like a ho!  What does it say that we can only see a woman running for vice president in such “girly” roles?  Why is it so hard to depict her as a woman?  What does it say that “sexy” Palin dolls are available, but you could only buy Hillary Clinton nutcrackers?

If you can only buy these toys, it seems women candidates can only be babes or ball busters.  God forbid, they simply be competent or professional.  Where’s the fun in that?  How can you sell those figures?  Also, it seems implied that you can’t buy male dolls like this because they are seen as professional and serious.  They are expected to be tough and to be more concerned with their work than outfits, so there’s not really the point in making dolls.  Where’s the fun in changing a man’s suit or making him a nutcracker?  It’s just ridiculous that our cultural expectations about male and female candidates allow toys to be created that turn women into sexual objects or bitches or things to be played with, while men are never degraded in such a way.

Why are we laughing at these instead of being horrified?  I’m no fan of Sarah Palin, but I have to say, I’m upset that she cannot run for office without being characterized in this way.  Can’t we look at her as a candidate and talk about her stances on issues without being distracted by action figures or teen pregnancies?  The country is falling apart, women are still facing enormous discrimination and all we can do is turn female candidates into silly dolls and play with them.  We have a long way to go if female candidates are seen as toys, not leaders that can actually change the way the country is run.

(I should also note, I am a giant nerd who likes action figures, but I am all about action figures for strong feminists (Buffy, Hermoine, Kate from Lost, if only I could get Tina Fey figure…) that sit on my desk and make me feel good about strong women.  So, I am not against toys, I am just against toys that turn women into jokes when they should be taken seriously!)

Let’s Keep our Eyes on the Prize: Check Out Today’s Bob Herbert Column

Just wanted to tell everyone they should read Bob Herbert’s op-ed in today’s New York Times.  I’ve been thinking a lot in the last day or 2 how the Palin nomination really has the potential to lead to some media coverage and debates that will just end up making women look bad.  I worry that as stories about her daughter’s pregnancy and her youngest son (or according to rumors, grandson) come out, that people will be too focused on what women and moms should do to pay attention to real issues.  In my personal opinion, Palin’s record seems to provide enough reasons to vote for Obama/Biden, so why should we attack her for being a bad mom or a working mom?  To me, that just feels a little hypocritical and unhelpful.  I feel like I have been right on the verge of getting sucked into all of the scandal about Bristol Palin’s pregnancy and rumors of Palin as a grandmother, but the more I think about it, the more I feel like I would like to try not get sucked into all of that madness.  This election is too important to be about a catfight or a fight about women’s roles that could set back feminist efforts, so I do hope that Palin’s record, her stances, and her experience, or lack thereof, will be more important than how she does/does not fit the proper role of a woman or mother.  Sadly, I am too cynical to believe that will actually happen, but I am glad people like Bob Herbert are out there trying to make us pay attention to what counts.